Fixture

With no sponsor yet again the report on the midweek clash with Britton Ferry is dedicated to a great Welshman who passed away earlier in the week Mr Howard Marks. For those of you who don't know who he is id recommend reading his autobiography Mr Nice or watching the film of the same name, for those of you who know who he is bong on!!!
The game saw Britton Ferry arrive with a big pack and a game plan to keep it tight, whilst we would look to move it wide in a contrast of styles. With a big squad to choose from i was unceremoniously dropped to water boy and i even had a row off Taxi for not doing that properly.
Now i now some of you boys arent the brightest but our pre game build up included our two props and largest citizens going for a cycle a little 10 miler just what you want before a game though like most cyclists they filled themselves full of epo before they left!! We soon stretched the ferry defense and superb handling put Jack Holland in the clear now Jack is full of speed and sped down the wing for the opening try converted by Hodge totally calm as usual that boy is so laid back hes got to be Cannabis. Dylan legal highs Davies took the KO after wandering around for 5 minutes before decoding to catch it and set us off on another attack. This time more superb handling and running saw Adam pro plus Evz cross for the second try again converted by Hodge. There followed an early candidate for twat of the match when Dewi called a mark 10 yards outside our 22 but the roids in him allowed him to get away it by a barnstorming run up the line with his big guns! Now the king of the Amphetamine boys thats speed to most of you the Goat had been speeding about all game and he soon sped over for another try again converted by Hodge. Still we pressed on giving Ferry no respite and after again stretching the defense we created an overlap and Big Kelvan sped through the gap on the 22 got back on his bike and covered the ground like he was chasing a pastie and crashed over in the corner for a fantastic front row score that will no doubt increase in distance as the season goes on. After his efforts Kelv had to go on the beta blockers and Hodge must have had the munchies by then as he missed the conversion. Ferry then fought back and spent most of the second half trying to smash their way over through the forwards, when their backs did get through Jack Holland pulled off a superb try scoring tackle. The half ended with the line out king Skonz hes got to be on lsd with that hair and his tats taken out by the ferry replacement. Now those of you who arent on lsd will know what happened next, the honey badger off his Ritalin went bonkers.ran 20 yards to put one on the offending substitute and just about got stopped before causing chaos, doc calmed him down with some Valium and to cap.a farcical 2 minutes he then had to go off with cramp!!! Turns out he'd been working all day laying turf and had nothing to eat or drink superb preparation for a game of rugby.

Ht Aber 26-0Ferry
I then took on a new role as the guardian of Goats underpants, how he took them off i don't know but i ended up looking after them and very sweet smelling they were too!!
the second half kicked off and we hoped to run riot but to be fair the Ferry stuck on in there. The Ferry were doing their best to get on the scoresheet and only big defense up front from Beans (crack cocaine) and Alex Dan (crystal meth) kept them out. By now Pepsi (laxatives annoying little shit) was blowing up and the subs started to come on with. Cons replacing him. Finally we put some width on the ball and Goat yet again set about skinning people and scored his second try leaving a trail of bodies in his wake. Hodge knocked over the con and we were back on a high. Doc by know was in the pack and thanks to his human growth hormone he rampaged forward like a bald rhino. When he was finally stopped the ball went out wide and Dewi did a mirror image of his fellow roider by crashing through bodies into the corner. Things began to go a bit pete tong when Shaver went down injured much to my distress, then after some windmill dummies and a rampaging run by young Hapgood saw Adam Evz given the space for him to waltz over in the corner for his second and our final try. The downer to this upper was cons was injured in the run up to it and it looks like he might have to be on the magic mushrooms to play again soon!!
Final score 43-0 to Aber another bonus point win and opponents kept scoreless so just like the shamens E's we are looking good. Mom was the speed fueled Goat and twat for his roid rage was the honey badger
finally all the club wishes old player Anthony Bri Williams a speedy recovery from his recent illness all the best mate from everyone.

Forgot to mention Al Williams coming on late even though it was a school night. Not a problem for him though as i heard hes always up for school!!